Saturday, April 23, 2011

Fear of Success or Fear of Failure?

Are You Afraid to Success or afraid to Fail?
Someone ever asked, "Is the fear of success really exists?". It could be just a reason to avoid fear of failure. 
But firstly we want to ask: "What's the definition of success?". If we imagined that as a luxury car, big house, a great career ... mmmm. .. Maybe not quite right. 

I prefer to associated success with "I'm living with my passion, I LOVE what I do, I jump out of bed in the morning and can not wait to start my day, I am sharing my gifts with others ... etc. "

But we need to be careful with that sweet sentence above because we can get stuck in the comfort zone and did not aware that we have potential.
There is one word that is often forgotten: "STRETCH". We Want our success to evolve - to represent more of what we want to become.

That why we want to stretch our zone. With stretch We then make plans and take actions.

Fear of failure = failure due to fear?

Some said more people fear failure rather than fear of death. Woow .. What's going on? Failure is usually associated with one's inability to meet expectations. Whether it's career, business, academic or relationship.
The structure of modern society was created from the concept of competition. Survival for the fittest. To survive, you must succeed. If not so you are fail and die. That's rough.

People who afraid with failure is not always a fool. But there is a mechanism "self-sabotaging" in itself. Usually this is related to her desire to appear perfect. Become an admired idol of many people. Unfortunately he had become burdened with excessive standards of perfection.

Where did it come from?
Psychologically, people who afraid of success and afraid of failure has the same issue in the "willpower". It may seem strange, people who fear success have little "willpower". He tends stagnant and scarcely do challenge herself to do new things. People who are afraid to fail have a large "willpower",but unfortunately he was abusing the willpower to sabotage it by himself. He can formulate a plan for an extraordinary job, but do not perform any action and suddenly his attention turned to other activities.

Let see what kind of belief that makes the willpower not be placed well.
Beliefs of people who afraid to fail

"I must be perfect"
"I should be number one"
"I must succeed so that people admire me"
"Failure is the end of everything"
"I would be punished if I failed"
"I have to maintain self-image"
"The view of people
to me should always been good"

Beliefs of people who afraid to success
"If I change will I be someone else"
"I avoid responsibility"
"I like to put off
the job"
"I feel mean
"No way!" , "
It can't be?"
"I do not know how to do it"
"I am afraid of uncertainty"

If we search deeper, fear of success and fear of failure usually occurs because of emotional or sexual abuse in childhood. The core beliefs is feeling unwanted. Unfortunately, parents that supposed to play a positive role for development of the child abuse it without consciously doing that, so when the child becomes an adult person who was afraid. 

Emotions of the mother at the time of conception must also form the initial character of the child. Environment, including friends, also plays a role in the child's psychological development. 
The characteristics of the body

Abuse can be easily observed in our bodies. Left body stores emotional abuse. Some people I met complained to his left body aches, weakness and easy to get sick. Predictably, after they traced the memory save emotional abuse at they childhood.

Body of sexual abuse to the right store. The symptoms almost similar to emotional abuse. It felt weak, but also can feel stiff and heavy.
The good news, we can get out of this limited state of origin have a strong willpower. Therapy facilitate change, while the ones who run the self-change. Willpower is he waiting to be resurrected. Not tomorrow or the next day but like a wise man said, "If not now, when else?"


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